Where I’m from they tell a story about… ‘Hairy Mary. An old lady who was a wandering tramp in The Maryhill/ north of Glasgow. As a child I was frightened of ‘Hairy Mary’. I think I met her years later and she wasn’t scary – just an old lady wearing a fur coat (on top of other coats). Does the legend of Hairy Mary still exist in 2015?’

‘My former customer @Maisies Bar tells great stories, for example… His name (to us) was ‘Blind John’. He was actually blind. He wore two watches. One was a ‘speaking watch’ which told him the time. The other was an old watch with smashed glass. One day I asked him about the old watch. He told me how he had fought in the Korean War and had been shot in the leg (that explained why he walked with a stick). While he was lying injured, his friend shot and killed the enemy who had shot him. His friend then took the watch from the body of the fallen enemy, and gave it to him. He has worn it every day since as a reminder of that day.’

Where I’m from they tell a story about… ‘Katie Cairns and her famous drink – often imitated but never equalled. Sometimes she is rumoured to be coming to town and you’ll finally get to meet her and taste her famous drink but so far…’

The most memorable thing I’ve seen in a pub… ‘One New Year my friend ‘Big Mat’ went to the bar to buy a round in, “voddie?”

“Aye”… voddie times 10 and one can of coke. While Big Mat fills his tray with voddies, one of the young lassies out for the first time and rather drunk runs up to the bar pulls down Big Mats underpants shouting, “ye shouldn’t be wearing any Big Mat”. Big Mat looks at her, smiles and calmly steps out of his underpants leaving them at the bar to distribute the “voddies” out to the lads!’

The most memorable thing I’ve seen in a pub… ‘a parrot in the Captain’s rest which spent the evening meeting all the people in the pub (and sadly so was his very dry, no – conversation owner).

The most memorable thing I’ve seen in a pub… ‘was actually a drunk guy grab a handful of crisps (bar snacks) rush out for 10 mins or so, come back in and carry on drinking. “Where you bin?” We ask. “I had to be sick.”

“Why the crisps?”

“I knew I’d be hungry after!”

“Yum” we said. Did we mean it?

The most memorable thing I’ve seen in a pub… ‘a cockatoo singing “La Marseillaise” whilst a half-hacked Brazilian man danced the flamenco on the bar…and the wee dog laughed to see such fun, and the whisky ran away with the spoon.’

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